Cheri Strange, Christian Speaker and Author

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE….about making your marriage successful-- beyond the top ten I’m addressing in this blog. I hope these encourage you toward a relationship with your spouse that exceeds all your expectations and enables you to live life to the full. But keep learning. Keep reading. Go to conferences. Listen to Focus on the Family and a host of other experts in the field who passionately work to help us exceed ordinary.

In fact, the final trait identified by couples in how to have a lasting, thriving marriage is to continue growing. Growth comes through all aspects of life. It could be that we choose to continue outside intellectual interests – things that stimulate our minds and cause us to think new thoughts. It could also be spiritual growth. Or we might try something new and challenging to us as a person. All these move us beyond who we were yesterday and mold us into a better version of ourselves.

Today, I’m reminded of the saying, “curiosity killed the cat.” Could it be that this cat was just bored and desperate for something stimulating back in its life? The cat was willing to roam into dangerous territory and paid the consequences. I don’t want to be like this cat. I don’t want to come to a place where I’m bored to death and start looking beyond it. I definitely don’t want my spouse to feel this way.

What do we do? We keep growing. We involve ourselves in something outside the tasks of living – raising children and the current emergencies. Volunteer for a cause. Read non-fiction. Take on a part-time job. Do something that provides an environment for personal growth.

Experts suggest growing spiritually. The most fruitful and effective way to do this is reading the Bible on a daily basis. I cannot put into words how the Bible has caused me to grow. The Bible is different from any other book. It holds the very words of God and they are the most powerful tool we have toward becoming more like Jesus. I also highly suggest joining a Bible study. Take a discipleship class at a local church. Go to church on a regular basis. Serve there in the areas in which you are gifted. All these elements pour into us and enable us to have much to offer relationships.

The other element found again and again in my study was physical growth. The clock is against us in this area. As you have likely noticed, we start to droop and bulge in distasteful areas. Our muscle tone is not what it was. I have personally discovered back fat. Where did this come from? What exercise gets rid of it?

The idea behind growing physically is more like – working to maintain a healthy and fit body. I need to eat less cheese puffs and more carrots. I need to drink more water and get more sleep. At some point in the day, I should look presentable – beyond my favorite comfy clothes and my ponytail. My closet should have some decent clothes I feel good wearing. Why? Because whatever we believe about ourselves effects what we do. If we hang around looking terrible all day, out of shape and unhealthy--- guess what? We begin to believe we are frumpy, lumpy, and uninteresting. But beyond ourselves, care of our bodies and appearance effects the overall perception we hold of our marriages, as well as that of our spouse.

I want a lasting marriage. I want my man to feel good about me and our life together. If taking better care of myself, involving myself in something outside the dogs and kids, and devoting myself to growing in my personal relationship to God makes the Top Ten – then these are things that should be priority in my life.

I hope God has touched your heart and stimulated your thinking today! May your marriage be richly blessed as you grow.